A little reflection

So this morning I had the pleasure of reading a letter sent to the Washington Post in response to a childless woman wondering if motherhood is all about relaxing. It lead me to reflection, which, as you know, often makes me sappy. Sorry. Those of you who visit here regularly and find my sappy side a little exhausting, feel free to skip this post. :)

This morning I curled my hair in this new way that I love. And hate. Because it takes a good 15 minutes just for the curling iron, which is in addition to the 12 1/2 minutes it takes to dry this curly mop in some semblance of straight and normal. This makes for a large chunk of my morning. And as I'm looking at my hair and loving the way it looks, I'm thinking to myself..."can this possibly be worth it? What a selfish expenditure of 15 minutes! It will be ruined the minute I walk out in this mushy snow fall, etc, etc..." I reflected on the amount of times in a day I do something just because I want to. Today is not a good example, I had cocoa puffs for breakfast instead of the usual protein shake and toast, because I wanted to. I curled my hair, I'm writing on my blog....you get the idea. And I realized how fabulous this thing called mommyhood is.

I wake each morning because someone wants cinnamon toast, or someone can't find glasses, or "oh no!! I had homework last night and I 'forgot'!" My feet hit the ground a shade under running and still grumbly and unfocused I've got toast going, a pencil dug out of the drawer for homework, glasses in the other hand, one child on my leg for a hug and a husband leaning in for a kiss. The phone is ringing and in addition to all this, I'm thinking to myself; "don't forget to add shortening to the grocery list, I'm watching the neighbor's kid today, got to change the blog wallpaper, did I answer my brother's last email?, my mom is sick so I should do something for her?, where am I going to park for the Jazz game I'm taking Tyler to tonight? Are the Jazz shirts clean?......."

This, mind you, is all before 7:46. Something about this does not say relaxing. Which leads me to what is does say, to me anyways.

It says I've become much better at multi-tasking. I still remember the first night home with Tyler. The first midnight scream fest, trying to figure out what's wrong and barely being able to change a diaper because I couldn't focus from the loud crying emitting from this child that is now all mine.
It says I have people that think I have all the answers, or at least the important ones, like pencils and glasses and toast.
It says that it matters if I disappeared all of a sudden. Brian certainly isn't going to change the wallpaper on the blog, nor would he know what to do with shortening, much less that it should go on the grocery list.
It says I have a full life, where people love and need me. Where I am depended upon to bring miniature versions of adults thru life safely, teaching them things that they will learn no where else. This morning Jake learned it's not the smartest idea to wipe your face when you have soap on your hands by his own experience, but I was the one who taught him how to fix the arm on the transformer, perhaps making him as good a fix-it guy as his mom is fix-it girl.

So, although I will freely admit, during quiet time each day, I get a good 30 minutes of un-interrupted "me" time. I've not found this mommy thing to be about relaxing, but honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I do (a lot of) important stuff everyday, and someday, when my little dudes are all grown up, hopefully who they become will be a reflection and reward for how little I relaxed everyday.