An un-traditional Thanksgiving

We broke the mold this year and went to Madeline's steak house for Thanksgiving. It was absolutly delicious and more importantly, provided some of the most delicious asparagus I've ever had. This is important when everyone around you is eating pie, cookies, brownies and cream puffs you can't eat. Having something like delicious asparagus makes it all ok. Well, not quite, but I felt a little better. Brian and I decided that with how crazy the year has been and how much he's been working lately, that we just wanted a really relaxing day, with no driving, cooking, cleaning and stress. So about a week ago we made a reservation for my whole family at Madelines for their buffet. It was amazing food and we loved that it was 5 minutes from home and we didn't have to do any dishes!

My parents and grandpa decided to join us, my brother and his family decided to not and we missed them. I don't think this will be a long standing tradition but it was a nice mix up for a year. Brian and I didn't really do the black friday thing this year, we did the 10pm toys r us sale and called it good. We got everything on our list and a few things we didn't know were on sale when we went. It was nice to sleep in on Friday morning.

Family Pictures

Well some of them anyways! Our photographer was wonderful! If you're looking for a good one, www.photographybybree.blogspot.com. Here's a few of the favorites!

She also took some really amazing ones of the boys, I'll stick those up later.

Somebody's hero

If I was asked by the astute thinkers of the world a good title for a darn good dad, that's what I'd pick. "Somebody's Hero". This opinion of mine has formed over countless days, nights and everything in between on the lovely occasions I've gotten to hear my husband come home from work and be greeted like he is a king. Don't get me wrong, they like me, and most importantly, love me. Someday when they grow up and fly the coop they will call home and after a quick greeting will give my husband a "so...is mom there?" However, when I walk through the door I'm pretty lucky if anyone notices, unless of course it's meal time. When Brian walks in the door, the world stops spinning and little people shout his name and run to him and hug him like a soldier returning from battle.

The motivation for them to do that comes from something I like to call hero worship. Because he is their hero, in so many ways. From the moment he first looked at a little toddler who was barely eating solid foods and gave them a bite of his ice cream to that adorable day on the golf course last summer when he taught an eight year old about visualization. That eight year old hit that golf ball over a very large lake, landing it in the perfect position for his next shot. Daddy is the guy who made up games like "Mr. Tickle guy" and spends his only night off taking two wiggly dudes swimming and for ice cream at Arctic Circle. And Dad is the man who, when after repeated warnings about some form of rule breaking, will still with complete gentleness, reprimand a child in the most loving way I've ever seen done. Letting them know that their feelings are more important than any rule.

Someday he will be the guy they go to for advice, and yes, I'm sure there will be days when he is no longer the hero, but the person taking away all their fun and freedom and "ruining their social lives". What it will all come around to at the end of it all, he will be their hero. Immortalized in their little minds like a modern day Hercules (without the muscles of course). So in honor of the greatest hero Tyler and Jake Gough will ever know, here is a portrait of this wonderful man.

Did I forget Halloween?!

I think I did! I was so busy trying to get the blog caught up, I've forgotten to remember the moment!

This was a fun year. We don't have to worry about little toddlers getting cold or dirty. Or kids who don't want to wear the hats or masks that make their costumes awesome. We went all out!

Behold: Jack Sparrow and Indiana Jones

Does it get any better?!

Ok, tribute to mommy-hood time. I had the pleasure of spending an evening recently lying next to a 6 year old while holding the hand of an eight year old that was dangling down from the bunk above me. And no, there was no feeling in my fingers by the time I let go in case that was on your mind.

My kids wanted me to sing to them before bed. It has been years since anyone has wanted me to sing to them. I forgot how much I loved doing it. They had forgotten how much they loved hearing it. I sang a few songs and Tyler asked if I knew any more songs. If that doesn't make a mommy who is now known strictly as "mom" cry, I don't know what would. Tyler my dear, I know a million songs more if you'll lay in your bed, hold my hand and listen to me sing.

They fell asleep that way. One tangled up in my left arm all cozy next to me, the other one dangling his arm over the side of the bunk holding my hand. I pulled myself away and found myself just wanting to stare at them. These are the kids who barely have time for a snack after school before they play. The same kids who look at me like I'm an idiot when I tell them to wear a coat because it's cold outside. The kids who every morning without fail remind me to sign their planners and pack them a snack...because I've forgotten ...oh wait, I've never forgotten! In the 4 years I've been sending children to school, I've never forgotten!! But just in case, they remind me. Because we are approaching that fabulous stage of "I know more than you mom!" and I dread it and am slightly amused by the idea of it.

So as I look at these little faces who begged for more songs before bed I just wished for a minute that if there is a big camera or video recorder in Heaven that documents all the "big" moments in our lives, that this one would qualify. Maybe not as a big moment, but the kind that if you were to review the whole dang thing with it's ups and downs and sideways, that this moment would show something to whoever was watching. That the story of my life was a fabulous, crazy, messy, silly, love filled story. That little children wanted to hear me sing as the last sound in their ears before they slept. That has to mean a lot more than all the money I didn't make in my lifetime. Or all the degrees I didn't finish. Or the toilets I didn't scrub....no toilet has ever wanted to hear me sing. Mommyhood, it ain't for sissys, but it's also not for the hard of heart is it?

Would you marry me...again?

Last night was a very special night. It has no significance in our world (and believe me, I would know with all those journals from when Brian and I met) but it felt significant. Last year about this time Brian sold his wedding ring. He had never liked it much and kept threatening to do it. I kept saying "wait until we have a replacement". I think just doing it was his way of motivating me. For this whole year he's missed having a ring and I've missed the world knowing he's taken. ;)

So about a week ago I found the perfect ring for more than the perfect price and ordered it. It arrived yesterday! It was just as perfect as it looked! So I asked him on a date, we dressed up and headed to Madeline's, our favorite steakhouse. (Which BTW carries a wide selection of "Kelly friendly" sides). I wrote the prettiest little love letter you've ever read, and presented him with a beautiful box, containing a brand-spakin' new wedding ring. So in honor of this occasion, the occasion being Brian deciding he does still want to be married to me by wearing a wedding ring I gave him, I've decided to post a few gems from our recent family pictures. Let's consider them 10 year milestone photos!

Stripped down to Gratitude

I think it's funny how this post, and the moments attached to it just happened to be during the month of Thanksgiving. Usually for me, for whatever reason, I find myself struggling to be grateful at Thanksgiving. I think it has something to do with the fact that I've never understood why we continue to celebrate this holiday by making some poor woman slave in a kitchen to provide a meal that really is no different than the others and which will be devoured in 20 minutes.

All the eaters of this meal will proceed to forget all about it, except for everyone complaining all night about how full they feel and how much time it will take to work off the calories. Why do we do this? I still have no answer. I think our ancestors would laugh at our sillyness if they could give some input and say to us...how about doing something that reflects what YOU are grateful for, not what WE were grateful for.

So in that spirit, and after the day I've had, I'd like to offer up my own corn for the feast of gratitude. Where do I start....

Let's start with 3 years ago. Flashback to Brian standing up 8 hours after a major and life changing surgery that would forever alter his back, and walking, pain free for the first time in months. At the time, I was grateful for that surgery. Grateful to have my husband working, functioning, and on the road to "normal". Months and years later I would come to curse that surgery. It has been the bane of my existence for as long as it's been part of our lives because of the long reaching affects a $55,000 surgery has on folks.

Flash forward. I now live in my parents basement, which although nicer and larger than my entire house was, still my parents basement. There are so many reasons for this change but if we wanted to get down to the brass tacks of it, the back surgery would be the biggest tack. Yes, Brian is in a masters program. Yes, we are moving to Kansas in 8 months. Yes, we wanted a new "UT" experience in a different area, with new faces. But the driving factor in this move is the need to be out from under owing ANYONE ANYTHING. In 16 months we will be done paying off a back surgery and we will have paid for a masters program, and a 500 hour yoga certification in cash. Does knowing all the "good reasons" for this move make me feel positive about it? Not until today.

I don't know what changed my outlook, the everyday factors are all the same. My morning looked like this:

7:23am-Shoot the alarm didn't go off...."KIDS!!!"

8:01am-Ahh...they are out the door

8:52am-Hey there's a yoga class at Soda row at 9...I'll ride my bike

......Wait! This is where it started. I got into my yoga clothes, grabbed a bag of carrots and pecans and rode my bike to yoga in the crisp, beautiful fall day. Unless you've been part of my everyday life for the last 6 months, you don't have any idea what that means to me, so here comes the gratitude.

Until 1 month ago I spent every morning of the last 8 months of my life feeling nauseous, dizzy, vertigo, and in mass amounts of pain. With no answers from anyone as to why. A few speculations...gallbladder needs to come out, too much acid....blah blah blah. After a couple thousand dollars worth of tests, the answer was, let's try taking the gallbladder out. Easy for them to say, they don't have to pay for it or go through it! I decided to avoid surgery as long as possible. I began to starve myself because every bite of food I took was a pain I hope to someday forget. Around the time I was down to about 500 calories a day a remarkable woman named D'ana suggested I see her doctor. At this point I had lost a large part of my muscle, eliciting a look of horror from my trainer during body mass testing, accompanied by "what have you done to yourself?!" I was barely finding the energy to shower everyday, much less do anything else like resistance training. Enter my hero.

I'll shorten this up, since it's getting long, honestly it's mostly for me and posterity, but don't let that stop you ;). Dr. Remington had the answers and they didn't have anything to do with surgery. I eat only meat, veggies, whole grains, milk, and cottage cheese. And I am healed. I take Probiotics, and an antigen everyday three times a day, and hopefully in my lifetime I will never experience this again. The problem boiled down to a Candida overgrowth whose bi-products produced a toxin that fried the inside of my large intestine. This all was a big deal for someone who is supposed to be prepping her body for an intensive training program that she will have paid A LOT of money for in January. It's also a big deal for a mommy, who keeps having to tell her kids, not today, mommy hurts too bad.

Today I rode my bike to yoga. Read that again. Then I sweat, and pushed my self to the limits of my breath and posture and found my heels so close to touching the ground at the same time my head brushed my mat in a downward dog. I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this beautiful, strong, soon to be totally healthy body I have a second opportunity to take care of. I have re-built most of the muscle I lost, I have gained ground faster than I could have hoped for. I feel GOOD. I rode my bike to yoga.

I then ran errands, mostly grocery shopping. I went to the sunflower market where I find most of the foods I can eat. Every time I go there it's exciting as I find some new treasure. Last time it was dill dip and grain sweetened cocoa chips. Today it was chicken noodle soup. Not from a can, but the kind in those big vats they keep by the salad bar. I bought all they had. It was delicious. You see, I have been nursing a cold for a week now and the deepest desire of my heart was some chicken noodle soup, but finding a yeast free, sugar/sweetener free, whole grain soup is nigh impossible. When I read and re-read the ingredients I cried. Before you laugh, think about what you eat everyday, and tell me if you wouldn't cry too if you found something that tasted good that fit into this "lifestyle".

As I sat in my car crying, eating my soup and looking at the beautiful day and the trees I realized every little thing has brought me to where I am, and I wouldn't change where I am for anything. I became grateful for Brian's back surgery and all the struggle it's brought us. I am stronger for the struggle. Just to say that again, I am grateful for the struggle. All of it. The back surgery, the job losses, giving up our house, living in a basement, the moments I lay in bed wondering if I would ever eat without pain again and on and on....

I am grateful to be alive and to have my husband who brings me a bouquet of beets in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other. I am grateful for my little Jake who for no apparent reason in a very Jake-like way, wrapped his arms around my neck tonight and gave me the fiercest hug I've ever received and wouldn't let go. I could feel his little energy flowing out to say "I love you" in the sweetest way he knows how. I'm grateful for Tyler who always has an arm to put around my waist(or shoulder if he's having an extra tall day) and the way he makes sure I have all my pills and drops by my dinner plate every night and a glass of water to take them with. Because I know that is his most special way of showing me I'm front on his mind when he walks in from playing.

I'm grateful for my parents, who allowed us to clog up their empty nest with noise, dirt, tears, and basic chaos and the love they have shown us. I'm grateful for my in-laws and all they did to raise such a wonderful man, there are no words for how I feel about him.

Most importantly, I'm grateful for a God that loves us enough to make this beautiful world and who loves me enough to keep loving me through all my stupidity and ingratitude. I would like to promise I will never be ungrateful again, but let's not muss it up with a lie.

I will have my moments, but I wanted to write down this moment, so that the record shows, there was a Thanksgiving season that I was filled with gratitude for all I have been given.