Mothers day

Tomorrow is mothers day and it lends me time to reflect tonight. I know what my breakfast is going to be. It's a classic burrito with potatoes, no pico and a side of ranch from Eggs in the City.

Brian and the kids drove to Sugarhouse today to get it for me. It's in the fridge. My gift was dirt. Seriously, 2 cubic yards of really beautiful dirt to go in my freshly made planter boxes. In which I plan to provide myself with lots of healthy cooking additions to our meals this summer.

Although I know these things and I'm excited about tomorrow for how cute the boys are trying to do nice things for me, tonight I'm really realizing that I've got my gift, it's love. And the best start to my day comes not from a tray with a newspaper, eggs and cocoa but a little almost-six-year-old-my-birthday-is-in-three-weeks warm person climbing into bed and knowing with every piece of his soul that this is the place to be if you want to be cozy. Then the day gets better as his older I'm-too-cool-for-hugs-in-public-but-there-better-be-a-spot-for-me-in-this-bed brother comes in to join the party. This is what my life is made of.

Now it also is made of not so Hallmark moments. For example when Jake made Tyler laugh so hard today he threw up all over the freshly cleaned carpets. I was not amused. Or that moment when you realize your kids really don't care about helping you out at the moment, they just want to play with their stuff and you have to beg for help with the groceries. You don't see that on a greeting card. As I stood in the card section perusing for the perfect card for my mama, I did however see a lot of "I know I didn't appreciate how wonderful you were then mom" and "All your suffering has made me into such a successful person" and I felt gratified. At least someday those moments will have some happy light shed on them and they will then officially be a Hallmark moment. For now they are the beats on a drum that marks the rhythm of my life and I"m happy to report, it doesn't sound like a funeral march.

It's one of those crazy African drum beats that you just want to swing your arms and dance to even thought the tempo and cadence will change at any given moment and then you look like a moron jumping around. Would I change it and stop dancing? Nope. Mommy hood has been the single most wild, crazy, silly, funny, sad, unpredictable adventure I've ever been on. Those of you who know me the best, that's saying a lot. I love this. Let me say that one more time and this time say it with me.....I LOVE THIS!!!

As Jake was laying on me the other day I could feel his heart beating and I realized it's been beating next to mine for 5 years 9 months and 15 days. That's something. He said he could hear my heart. I asked what it was saying. "I love you" he said. Brilliant.

Happy mothers day. To everyone who is a mother, and everyone who wants to be and everyone in between. What a gift.

Just a few of my favorite photos from this section of my life. And no, it doesn't get any better than this :) I don't think my heart could handle that much love and happiness.